Tuesday, November 25, 2014

Movie break: Beatles-in-Hamburg* Woody: Take the Money and Run (1969)

In a sub-series: Backtracking thru the Woodland

Also fits this series:
“We’ll always have Woody”: A look at Woody Allen films


* “Beatles-in-Hamburg” as a modifier means early in the given artist’s career, when many of the elements of his/her work/art were already present, if in rudimentary form. See End note for more.

Subsections below:
Among staples, Jewish jokes and the pretty girlfriend/partner/wife
More Allenesque staples: Psychological/family background, and sex jokes
Appearances by longtime associates; production partners
Miscellaneous details or observations

[Edits 11/28/14. Edit 12/8/14.]

Take the Money and Run (1969) may be among the very few Woody Allen films that are most familiar to those only casually interested in or knowledgeable of him, along with the likes of Sleeper (1973) and Annie Hall (1977). It was the first film—and under what would become the long tradition of the Rollins/Joffe producing banner—that he both starred in and wrote-and-directed.

It also presents the gag-a-minute type of humor with which he became so tightly associated by the mid-1970s that, by Stardust Memories (1980), when this latter film was interpreted as being simply about him, its line about the fictional director’s “older, funnier” movies became among the received critical (and public) wisdom about Allen in the decades of his subsequent career. This implied he had been “at his best” or “at his most crowd-pleasing” when doing quickly-ratcheted-out comedy, as if he were the tasty novelty of a comedian doing a standup routine in writing movies, rather than the writer of probing themes that he gravitated toward and preferred to work as, starting in the 1980s.

Take the Money, actually, makes us appreciate, in his later films, how much a screenwriter of depth and subtlety Allen is at his best. Yet this film’s humor often still hits home today, and it’s surprising to note how much of the Allen that most generally expresses himself throughout his many films still comes through this early and admittedly homely, sometimes clunky work.

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The film is a mock documentary about the life of a small-time crook named Virgil Starkwell who rises from being an enormous bumbler (in trying to be streetwise and to pull off petty crimes in his youth), to eventually being successful enough as a bank robber that, near the film’s end, he gets 800 years in prison (which, the narrator [Jackson Beck; 1912-2004] intones, Virgil feels he can cut in half with good behavior).


Among staples, Jewish jokes and the pretty girlfriend/partner/wife

There are various Jewish jokes, a feature that at the time was on the edgy side, and in Allen’s case probably was seen as an inevitable consequence of Allen’s being a New York–tuned Jewish standup comic. Here, we find, for example,

* the squabbling, digression-making, Ashkezani-inflected parents (and, not a necessarily Jewish trait, in silly disguises), who are interviewed sporadically (though Virgil’s full name doesn’t really sound Jewish);

* the prison episode where, after volunteering to be a guinea pig on which an experimental vaccine is tried out, Virgil develops the side effect of turning temporarily into a rabbi (complete with black brimmed hat, bushy beard, and aptness to pedantically discourse on the meaning of eating matzoh during Passover); and

* a funny scene with Virgil in a prison chapel, obviously Christian (Catholic), with him being sneaked homemade weapons by an intended-breakout accomplice while they are in the pews, and (as intended cover, yet by an obvious fictional clod about observing religious proprieties) Virgil engaging incongruously in the type of rhythmic rocking that religious celebrants do in Jewish temples.

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There is also the Allenesque touch of having a girlfriend/wife for Allen’s character who, at least in the looks department, seems out of his league, which side character probably at this early stage of his career reflected merely the producer demand to have an attractive leading lady to add some romance and sex appeal to the story for marketing purposes (as any big-audience director’s debut would have been expected to do).

Here, the leading female is Janet Margolin (1943-93) as Louise, a young laundress Virgil stumbles on accidentally and almost immediately becomes smitten by. Virgil is about to snatch her purse in a town park when she alertly eyes him, and he catches himself, and then he moves discreetly/awkwardly to a friendly conversation about amateur artwork she is doing. They are an item from then on.

Margolin had her acting debut in the respectful mental-inpatient drama David and Lisa (1962), and worked for Allen again in Annie Hall, as the city-intelligentsia-conscious wife who apparently has trouble making love without Valium.

An interesting touch in Take the Money—whose setting is (largely) San Francisco—has Virgil and Louise going on a date to Ernie’s, the famous restaurant with the red walls that is reproduced in Hitchcock’s Vertigo (1958). One amusing detail: notice how, when Allen’s Virgil drops a handful of change into the waiter’s hand as a tip, a woman to the left on the screen (an extra) is looking steadily (and a little scandalized?) at what has fallen on the floor, as if she didn’t expect this move.


More Allenesque staples: Psychological/family background, and sex jokes

In the film’s fastidious mock-biographical manner, family history is presented comically (Louise, it turns out, was adopted by a career-military father, who after 30 years “catapulted” to the rank of corporal, and a religious mother who had conversations with God about, among other things, interior decorating). Allen, of course, would prove for many years to be conscious of this robust way of looking at aspects of character; it would appear in many forms through many of his later films, not just in the similar Zelig (1983), but in ones where family background, whether or not including mental illness, is invoked importantly.

Even an early form of Allen’s patented sex jokes turns up. In a sort of monologue comprising his brief turn at voiceover narrating of his story (temporarily taking over from Beck—an artist’s-license move), shortly after meeting Louise, Virgil remarks about having talked with a prison psychiatrist about sex. The p-doc, following up on his question about whether Virgil had a girlfriend, had asked him if he thought sex is dirty, and Virgil recounts that he answered, “Well, it is if you’re doing it right.”


Appearances by longtime associates; production partners

At this early stage in his career—not that I know it all really well—Allen had help from people he’d already been working with, in lesser-film fare. Mickey Rose (1935-2013), a student-days friend, is his co-writing partner here, as he would be for Bananas (1971). Rose had helped him with the drive-in-style comic riot What’s Up, Tiger Lily? (1966).

Interestingly, Allen’s start here as writer/director/star almost didn’t happen; in Eric Lax, Conversations with Woody Allen (Knopf, 2007; p. 335; speaking within November 2005-November 2006), Allen notes, “When I wrote Take the Money and Run with Mickey Rose, Jack Rollins [Allen’s longtime manager] didn’t want me to appear in and direct a film because he felt like there might be some kind of backlash, like, ‘Who is this wunderkind? Who does he think he is?’ And I didn’t care about directing it. I just didn’t want someone to ruin it. So it was hard to get anybody [a studio] interested in Take the Money and Run.” Palomar Pictures International ended up being the producing studio, and accepted the multi-role situation that Allen presented, presumably because, as Allen says, it “was a new company and they couldn’t deal from strength.”

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For Take the Money, Allen would have the services of several film editors, but Ralph Rosenblum (1925-95) is listed in the credits as a consultant: actually, he was brought in to perform crucial reworking of some of the film’s editing, giving it such tweaks as the interspersing of comments by Virgil’s parents; this is recounted in Lax, p. 270. Rosenblum would be ranked as the full editor for the next film. Rosenblum would work as sole/main editor for Allen up through Interiors, on every film Allen directed except Everything You Always Wanted to Know About Sex… (1972).

Also, Jack Grossberg is an associate producer here; he would be full producer on the next film, and would be associated with Allen’s work at least as late as, I think, Sleeper.

Marvin Hamlisch (1944-2012) scored music for virtually the entire film, as he would do for Bananas; this was not Allen’s usual method for his films from about Sleeper on.

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Louise Lasser, who was married to Allen for a few years until 1970, appears toward the end as a “person on the street” commenting about Virgil. (She would costar with Allen in Bananas and would also be in Everything You Always Wanted….) Lasser here is giving some streetwise comments, basically riffing on the notion that Virgil had seemed like (for one measure) such a schlemiel, and yet was a master criminal. She ends with an expression I think I have right: “Go know, right?”—which may have been hip in those days, but I’m not sure what it means unless it is “Go figure.”

The voices in the film are largely what sounds now like flat and rather expressionless blats; similar can be found in 1970s films. I guess we Americans got more inflection-wielding and with a certain general lilt in our talk while (perhaps as a semi-cause) society has gotten more technologically advanced, or whatever other societal correlate of the voice phenomenon may be relevant. Allen, however, is familiar to us with the Brooklyn touches to his voice. He even has thinning hair here, as he would familiarly have later: going bald on the back-top of his head, and receding front hairline, leading to his characteristic uneven front hairline, with its comb-over, or whatever that is.


Miscellaneous details or observations

* Allen originally had an ending far different from what the film has; it would have entailed a shootout, with Virgil killed messily, reminiscent of the end of Bonnie and Clyde (1967). But there would have been a comic twist, with Louise (and her son by Virgil) visiting his grave, and (as the two leave) Virgil from underground (?) giving them a “Psst!” as if he was still alive. The scene was filmed, and included even special effects for gunshot wounds, courtesy of A.D. Flowers, the famed special-effects man who later worked for Francis Ford Coppola, among others. But this ending was scrapped (see Lax, p. 134).

* Various story details seem to echo (by artifice, of course) Allen’s real life, such as the birth date of Virgil being Allen’s. There are also touches of Virgil being characterized as an “atheist” (including by his own father) and a “pinko”—similar is done regarding Allen’s character of Fielding Mellish in Bananas—which both reflects the cultural/populist bugbears of the time and perhaps echoes some features of Allen’s late-’60s/early-’70s intellectual orientation (arguable; or what may have been compatible with it) that maybe he was playing for laughs as well as being a bit daring about presenting.

There are also jokes in the later film about Mellish’s being a college dropout, which perhaps Allen was a bit embarrassed about his being then, and certainly wasn’t later. (The underscoring of anti-communist paranoia is also shown in the fictional FBI agent, Daniel Miller, toward the end of the film, who is noted as having authored a book, Mother Was a Red.)

But the classical instrument Virgil takes up as a youth, a cello, is an incongruously nerdy instrument for a street “gamin” like him; but it is not the clarinet that, in real life, Allen ended up mastering.

* The instrumental song (by Quincy Jones) “Soul Bossa Nova,” which is familiar to younger audiences through the Austin Powers series (1997-2002), underscores one sequence in this film, but it is played somewhat differently here.


End note.

The Beatles, as you know, did their most act-solidifying early work as a managed house band of sorts in a few clubs in Hamburg, Germany, from 1960 to 1962 (starting with the Indra Club and then the Kaiserkeller). Bob Spitz’s comprehensive if flawed and occasionally biased biography on the group from 2005 (Little, Brown) is arguably at its most interesting when it recounts, in surprising detail, the band’s early professional history that is similar to that of many a local American garage or bar band: young slobs pounding away at their act in obscure venues with dreams of the big time.

Also, the recent book Beatles  vs. Stones by John McMillian (Simon & Schuster, 2013), comparing The Beatles and The Rolling Stones, shows its obvious bias toward the latter group, but I think the question of which group was greater (in the 1960s) is both silly and easily answered: The Beatles were greater, if no other reason than because, by 1962, they had long paid their dues in grungy work for about two years as an apprentice band usually covering other writers’ songs, with occasional original numbers, which period of extended, rugged apprenticeship the Stones never went through. And of course, the Stones rode the tidal wave of British-band “mania” that the Beatles helmed that allowed the Stones to come to prominence.

In terms of the literal image that “Beatles-in-Hamburg” connotes, think of the band in stinky leather jackets in later 1960 (and consider the picture, from whenever, of John Lennon with a toilet seat around his neck). Think of them playing like maniacs in a seedy club patronized by boorish German sailors, the band fueled by the stimulant Preludin and beer, and heeding the exhortations of Bruno Koschmider, the German club owner/manager who told them to “Mach Schau!” (“Make show!”; this more literally can be read as something like "Power up a show!," but you get the drift; anyway, on this latter, see The Beatles’ autobiography from 2000 [Chronicle Books], p. 47, and Spitz, p. 209).

Tuesday, November 18, 2014

OFAD 7: Connecting with Lefty: Finally getting my Medicaid card, to square with the ACA demand

Mission accomplished, but for ACA cheerleaders, count me out of your short list (or your long list)

Guys don’t seem to be called “Lefty” anymore.

—George Carlin, in Napalm & Silly Putty (New York: Hyperion, 2001) (this is the sort of name my title refers to; I am not saying “Lefty” to make any insinuation about Obamacare being “leftist”; i.e., I figuratively mean Lefty as in a local shady operator like, as suppositional examples, Louie the Lip or Joey Ding-Dong)

Subsections below:
I. Wonders never cease: Getting answers on my ACA “oblivion” situation
II. Connecting with Lefty, so to speak
III. Maybe it ain’t over till the jackass-automaton Marketplace e-mailing genie sings further

[Edit 11/19/14. Edit 11/20/14.]

Some of this was written before the climactic mid-November stuff recounted below, and the rest is written before I have my Medicaid card in hand, so I’m hoping things pan out completely, so this story won’t be for naught.

Some of this experience involved trooping around “like a lay social worker” fairly similarly to how I’d done for others back in my VISTA days (1986-87) and, much later, amid busy help-to-others in a support-group milieu from about July 2001 to, say, 2006. Except now it was just for me, when the Great Leap Forward of the Affordable Care Act ostensibly seemed to be another big, beneficent, civic-oriented helping hand extended magnanimously by Washington but ended up seeming—because of the federal level’s occasional rattletrap nature (combined with state inadequacy)—to require local yokels to scrape around desultorily for (figuratively speaking) box-tops, rubber bands, and old lottery tickets in Palookaville.

By the way, in criticizing it, I don’t expect to be considered along the cartoonish, black-and-white lines by which pro- and anti-ACA thinking has been cast. For instance, I agree with those who dismiss the Republicans as having no improved (or any) alternative to the ACA. And personally I feel the Republican idea that, to get health insurance, all people need to do is get jobs is almost criminally wrong (as to facts and otherwise). But, even after having voted mainly Democratic for about 34 years, I would not cheerily wave the flags for the ACA, given all its many flaws, big and small. This after I was among those in the 1990s who was supportive in some sense of the Clinton attempt at such a program.

This narrative may seem to be a bit detailed, but it shows the hoops you have to go through, which I feel after all I’ve been through in my life comprise a fairly big impertinence. And I went through this without really being enthusiastic about doing so, and I also spare you the curse words and such that might have peppered this “walk through a shadowy land.”


I. Wonders never cease: Getting answers on my ACA “oblivion” situation

So I finally went out to the office in Sussex County, N.J., of NORWESCAP, which I had first heard about at a distance, completely new to it and wonder-minded at age ~25, in very late 1986 or early 1987, when I was working in VISTA (Volunteers in Service to America, since ~1994 part of AmeriCorps; my stint was at a location in Somerset County, N.J.). This (in 2014) was where I thought I’d get answers on why—if I’d signed up via the federal “Marketplace” Web site in late 2013, and had gotten info on having an assigned policy number in winter 2014—I still had no Medicaid card by this month (November 2014) and had been informed via impersonal e-mail by the “Team” at the federal Marketplace that I had not finished signing up, etc.

(By the way, I had long ruled out phoning NJ FamilyCare again. After three tries in the winter, with just an inadequate mechanized response, and knowing they’d been overwhelmed with Medicaid-extension processing in the winter anyway, why expect to get anywhere lately with them?)

I’d heard (in a local newspaper, I think), probably in fall 2013, that in this county NORWESCAP was handling the administrative task of helping people get signed up for ACA insurance; NORWESCAP is a sort of charitable organization, mainly meant for low-income people in several counties in the state. I’d thought I would contact it (stop by, if I could) shortly after Election Day (as a matter of practical realities and slight lack of enthusiasm about this whole ACA “project”) and before the start of the new signup period, which I’d heard was to kick off about November 15 (which, of course, it has).

Also, it was to follow the fairly unitary-and-exclusive (emotionally and practically) period of hospital care for my mother, which ended in late October. She had a tumor successfully removed, in a same-day-surgery sort of situation (which resulted in a few days of inpatient stay for her). The tumor was a sarcoma (the third such she’s had; the first in 2001-02 and 2011), for those who’ve followed this thread in my stories. The doctors seem to see no reason to feel there are any malignant remainders of the tumor in her, though apparently she is going to have her periodic scans more frequently again.

On November 6, I was out in the county seat of Newton to renew my driver’s license. I wasn’t sanguine about how well that would go (I think, at age almost-53, I seem to have virtually lost all faith in government doing the simplest things), but it went much better than I’d expected. I felt that, once that was done, the rest of the day should be “mundane chores that I would semi-fondly embrace.”

It took some work to locate the NORWESCAP office. There was a lot of footwork, but I guess you could say I was determined. Slogging along with umbrella, I checked at the county administration building. Got a phone number there from some helpful-enough women in the County Clerk’s office, and some vague info on possible address. There was a reference by the women to NORWESCAP’s office being near the main library building. That place I knew well, having gone there a lot in years past. I went out to the library on this rainy day. I got in (construction there made for an awkward new temporary entrance), and finally got info from a helpful library reference-department worker on NORWESCAP’s address.

(You may wonder, why didn’t I look this up on the Web myself? I basically felt I’d locate NORWESCAP readily enough “on foot” as part of my going to Newton for my license renewal. [To kill two birds with one stone, in part.] Plus, I had a foggy memory of NORWESCAP having been in a building near the center of Newton that I used to stop at 12 or 14 years ago. In the old days, I used to tramp around to different social-service places in Newton [by car and/or on foot] when I was more up to my neck in the support-group jazz [through roughly 2006], and in those days I did a lot of literal footwork by preference. Almost as a practical echo, I felt doing my business in Newton this month on foot wasn’t too bad an idea. As it turned out, the address for NORWESCAP I got, on Halsey Road [in Frankford or Hampton township], could have been gotten online [assuming the Google info wasn’t outdated, which sometimes happens].)

Then I had a heck of a time finding the building they were in. I had a number for the street address, but the building—which also housed a business—was surprisingly hard to find. Once there, I found you had to ring a buzzer at NORWESCAP, and wait for an answer—you couldn’t just walk in.

Now the (to me) humor-appropriate stuff started. This was like ringing at a speakeasy. I stated my business and was buzzed in. A helpful woman talked to me; I gave her my “quick brief”—“I signed up last year, nothing in the mail, got a policy number, called NJ FamilyCare,” etc. (you might know the saga from my past OFAD entries), and she seemed to answer as if she’d heard roughly the same from others before. She was efficient in giving me terse info, including a flier giving info on whom to phone in Denville, N.J. (in Morris County; the actual location would appear to be different), who would be my next best bet.

(She said her office here handled just family something-or-other. She also made some reference to X program for people 55 and over, though she didn’t give me the relevant flier, as [she said] it was outdated. I guess I looked 55 or older. I certainly had looked like walking death when my new driver’s license photo was first taken.)

I said thanks, and was ready to go.

This was like getting a tip like, in growly voice, “Call dis number, ask for Lefty. He’ll hook you up wid your connection.” I mean, the woman was nice, but how rickety a system, in its national and local branches, this suggested for delivering nationally mandated health insurance. Not that the NORWESCAP people weren’t (in their locally responsible way) earnest in providing what they could.

Now, as it would turn out, there was more gritty tracking down of the right person, and getting the problem ironed out, for me to do.


II. Connecting with Lefty, so to speak

I called the number I was given, on a Friday, somewhat late in the day, November 7 (at some point I found the relevant NORWESCAP office was in Rockaway Township, N.J.), and I left a detailed-enough message. The next day (Saturday, November 8) I sent an e-mail after I’d looked up the NORWESCAP entity online, saw several addresses, and found that you could e-mail a message to the office of your choice. (I didn’t realize NORWESCAP had started as a poverty-addressing arm of Johnson’s Great Society program. The Great Society had long been, at least vaguely, a sort of solid-metes-and-bounds of U.S. government standard for me, though it has become as faded and decayed as a morning’s dream you can barely remember.) I composed a succinct-yet-thorough-enough e-mail and sent it.

On Monday, November 10, I found there was a phone message, left on one of my numbers, by the person who had received and/or chosen to answer the e-mail. She gave useful info. I transferred this to audiotape to listen to it again.

On Tuesday, November 11, I called the number that it seemed I should first call, but I got a lot of ringing, no answer. Sensibly, one could conclude the office was closed for Veterans Day, but I didn’t know for sure if I was calling a state office or not. (Turned out, I was.)

On the morning of Wednesday, November 12, I called the number again, and now I got a live person, no mechanized system. (I would find, only for sure via a piece of mail I received within days, that this was a Medicaid office in Paterson. Not only had it not occurred to me to try, out of the blue and instead of NORWESCAP, to call the state Medicaid office directly, but I didn’t even know there was one in Paterson.)

I explained my situation: I’d applied on the federal Web site, had gotten nothing (in the mail…), and had found I had a policy number but got nothing else over months, etc.

I found from this person (she seemed to read rather perfunctorily, almost to herself, from what she found on her computer) that my policy had been effective X date last winter, and a card was mailed out to my street address (on Y date).

I never received it, I told her. (I probably explained that my street address could not be used to mail things.)

In fact, not that I would have explained this in detail to her, HERE (in the ACA techno-doings regarding what address they used) WAS ONE BIG SOURCE OF THE PROBLEM OF WHY I NEVER GOT MY CARD. And I will explain something here that may sound like grumbling about another weird set of ways of my household for decades, but here really isn’t meant to be.

(Sidebar—note on how I do a “slalom run” in talking about family issues. You see, I hold off on giving the full set of stories on household jazz that, variously in my practical life, throws me for a loop, in big ways and small, as much as I might seem [to you] to spill an awful lot of beans on my blogs. The way my family is, I still very discreetly hold off on telling some things and speaking about others. This may seem arbitrary to outsiders, and even does a bit to me at times, but I think it follows in a very good-faith manner [or as good-faith a “policy” as is possible under the circumstances] how I talk about family stuff, which latter is relevant enough to me as a writer [going back to the 1980s] but reaches points where “holds” on releasing info should be observed, for reasons I either explicitly offer or not.)

My household has not had a street address for mail, ever. We have had the same P.O. box since 1965 or 1966, even before there were (as a matter of instituted infrastructure here) any street boxes in the neighborhood (which started about the early 1970s). My mother has long stayed with the P.O. box, staunchly refusing to have a street box (even after numerous homes on our street, and throughout the local community of Barry Lakes, have had street boxes for years), for reasons I won’t go into now. This has led, over many years, to (before the Patriot Act) various people (in situations where their requiring address info is at play, when you fill out forms, or whatever) being surprised that we only have a P.O. box, and we say please use that, otherwise our mail can’t be delivered….

Post–Patriot Act, there have been more occasional rigorous demands from various entities for a street address along with a P.O. box, or else (either as might be more or less advised by those seeking the info, or as could be bemusedly suspected by us) we’d be suspected of conducting fraud or terrorism, etc. So we have new dances to do (I may be more adept at this than my mother, who is of course tooled to older conventions, etc.) in terms of supplying addresses so that if anything is to be mailed to us, it is sent to the P.O. box, even if this means filling out blanks (which doesn’t always work, e.g., technically on computers) with the street address and the P.O. box together.

Tedious? Well, a fact of my life.

(My mother’s refusal to have a street box, as is so often the nature of her “ways,” has both an objective, sensible component and a subjective, less-than-reasonable component. One of her longstanding rationales was that punk kids could steal from and/or do damage to the mailbox, and this as a broad matter was far more likely and relevant a concern in the 1970s, and has very rarely happened in decades since. But wouldn’t you know? In the way that if you harbor fears long enough, eventually your fear will have some basis [though I don’t think she focused on it this way], as recently as March 2011 there was a crazy situation where a kid living on our street had no fewer than five college-kid beer-and-drugs parties in one week, each on a different night, and on one night, there was a rampage of boys on the street where a neighbor’s mailbox was damaged, and a partier’s car had its mirrors smashed off and the driver was chased across several lots and in a panic away from the area. My mother, awoken from sleep, called the police, not fully cognizant of all the facts of this mayhem at the time. We haven’t seen that kind of punkish insanity in this neighborhood since the 1970s. Fortunately, the household from which it emanated hasn’t hosted that kind of stuff since.

Let me add, this mailing-address thing isn’t the worst disservice [summarily speaking] that my mother’s “preferences” have done me; there are other, far more troubling examples, which I decisively hold off on telling in my blogs. By the way, a recently released memoir by Brooke Shields, on which I saw something of a review in the November 18 Star-Ledger, is interesting, showing in a way that people are ready enough to accept when it comes from a star, and otherwise is a foreign country most people don’t know about or try to understand: when you as a child are [as one type of problem] “codependent” with a parent [not exactly the case of me with my mother, but more Shields’ case], or operate in a “parentified role” [more my case], you actually are always inhabiting two different roles, with their own spheres of moral guidelines and emotional concerns, and the disjunction of which spheres provides sources for deep conflict: one that is more ordinarily defined with respect to your parent [where, due to problems apart from the two-role situation, you may be oppressed or abused in some way]; and one outside your parent’s sphere of business and concerns, and “looking in,” which is more morally grounded but also is troubling for putting you, the child, at odds in key ways with the parent.)

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And I found from a printout in my ACA files from when I first applied on the ACA Web site that they did have my P.O. box address—in fact, it was the only address that showed on the printout. But bless the “system’s” heart, between my applying and the feds getting the federal Marketplace-inserted info to the state to be processed there, somehow things got handled so that the mailing address used for the Medicaid card was the street address. And apparently the card was mailed out and returned to sender. And then ended up in Oblivion.

Well, the woman I talked with on November 12 was very helpful—she was (as I said) in a Medicaid office in Paterson. She first had to check with someone else if they could change the address per my request on the phone, or per whatever concern…and yes, they could. I should call back in 48 hours to confirm the change was made. Then I would get everything mailed to me.

I had a set of notes from various things the woman told me, a somewhat initially-incoherent-to-me jumble of stuff she mostly programmatically issued, and I sorted it out later, because there were two additional (and toll-free) numbers I had to call.

On Thursday, November 13, I got a mailing from the Paterson Medicaid office of just a single photocopied sheet basically outlining the type of benefits I would be entitled to. It was better than nothing, but only slightly. (It said I had to get most forms of health care from a certain HMO that was set up for Medicaid recipients in the area. This wasn’t entirely pleasing.)

Then on Friday, November 14, two days after the key Wednesday call, I phoned the number I first called, again. Yes, my address was changed. Now…I found that I should call only one of the two toll-free numbers I’d been given on Wednesday. This I did, and I went through whatever minor hoops I had to there, and was told my stuff would come in the mail in seven to ten business days. (Which I later found could be as late as early December.)

Well, this was something of a relief. I would have my Medicaid card almost a full year after I had first started applying. I wouldn’t have to go on the federal Marketplace site again (though I keep getting e-mails from the Team, as if they still “feel” I have to continue with an application that wasn’t finished last year).

I relate all this, not feeling it’s the worst anyone ever experienced with this ACA signup, and knowing there are many, many stories that are worse. But for what it’s worth, I feel a little more confidence in the system. But let’s just say that, if the ACA people were looking for a rank-and-file consumer to do cheerleading for the system, I would not be their first choice.


III. Maybe it ain’t over till the jackass-automaton Marketplace e-mailing genie sings further

On Tuesday, November 18, I opted—not with full confidence—to act on one of the many Marketplace e-mails I’ve gotten from the Team on the federal level, and reset my password for the federal site (though, except for maybe something routine I might be required to do, I don’t foresee any business with it, now that I seem to be signed up for Medicaid, while the Team keeps sending me e-mails as if I still have to sign up).

I ran into problems pretty early—when in the process of resetting my password, there were three questions related to my past personal life that I had to answer to clarify I was who I was. Well, I thought I had the answers to, but one answer turned out to be wrong. (Factually, I didn’t know why at first, then [after looking in my paper records] I found out: one of the questions concerned my “boss” from my first job. I had spelled his name wrong this time; in the original application, it was right. Both spellings have five letters and should be pronounced the same. So I had the name, not the right spelling.)

I tried to go through the process again, and starting encountering more problems. I did not get an e-mail, as I got when first being required to reset my password. I started getting infuriated similar to when I was deeply angered by the ACA e-mail implications several weeks ago, as shown in my entry OFAD #6. I figure, rather than curse the “whole shidden mess” out in the toughest possible terms, time to take a break.

I will keep you posted if there are more weird developments.

Monday, November 10, 2014

Off the Scales*: Does this real news story need a punchline?

From The Star-Ledger, January 31, 2009, p. 18 (no byline):
 

Court issues mixed ruling on mail-order lawsuit

A state appeals court yesterday upheld the dismissal of a lawsuit filed by a Bergen County man who claimed a mail-order product he purchased promising penis enlargement violates the state’s Consumer Fraud Act.

The three appellate judges agreed with a trial court judge who dismissed the lawsuit, ruling that the man, Englewood attorney [name redacted], failed to prove he suffered any “ascertainable loss.”

But the appeals court said the trial court erred in dismissing the suit without allowing [attorney/plaintiff surname] to offer such proof in an amended filing.

[Attorney/plaintiff surname] filed the lawsuit, for which he sought class-action status, in November 2007, six days after ordering the product, Herculex, from the mail-order health food supplier, Hampshire Labs Inc. The appeals court decision noted [attorney/plaintiff surname] apparently filed his lawsuit based on the ingredients of the topical ointment with no indication that he ever tried the product.

[Attorney/plaintiff surname] said he intends to file an amended lawsuit.

[end of story]

##

Do we need a punchline?

A Google search does not show the attorney ever filed an amended complaint.

##

* “Off the Scales” is an occasional series, usually with entries appearing as “sidebar” features within larger entries on other topics, which I first announced within this entry, as Off the Scales: A comment series on excesses in the U.S. legal profession. This occasional series is not meant to imply that I am an attorney, which I am not; it is meant in part for entertainment and is dedicated to the proposition that “I don’t claim that any jackass can practice law, but that there are some things done within the legal-professional realm that even a jackass like me can do for himself, in pro se fashion.”

Saturday, October 25, 2014

OFAD 6: Coming around the mountain when she comes

[That “mountain” headline above alludes to an old American folk song, which suggests simpler times than we have now, with the likes of the Affordable Care Act.]
 

I originally wrote this in the morning, when I was more upset about the e-mail I discuss here. Since then, midday, I have made a trip to the hospital that is part of the complex formerly known as the University of Medicine and Dentistry of New Jersey (UMDNJ) and now is part of the Rutgers University system. My mother has been there as an inpatient since being operated on two days ago (I alluded to this development partway into one of my “GWU Days: Alan L. …” entries posted earlier this week on my other blog). I am less upset by the e-mail but still not thrilled by it. To go to what I first wrote (updates are in brackets):

This morning I found an e-mail in my usual e-mail account (i.e., the one I use the most for communications with others) that was from (per the sender name line) “The HealthCare.gov Team.” The e-mail included the copy, “It looks like you submitted an application but did not complete your enrollment for Marketplace coverage. If you haven't been back to HealthCare.gov in a while, it's time to change that [sic]. Come back and apply for 2015 coverage *on or after November 15th*.”

I am busy this morning [this said before my trip to the hospital]. I am in the several-day process of dealing with my mother’s being at the hospital (the tumor in her chest was successfully removed two days ago; a full biopsy of it has not been done yet). This entails trips to the hospital, and phone-calling when needed, amid other minutiae. Basically, as the day goes on, I have to find out if she’s still in the recovery room, or whether she has been moved to a private room by now [yes, she has].

I say this to show, first, that I take involvement in the U.S. health-care system, in all its highly varied quality, very seriously; and second, I have business on the road I am attending to, and try to touch all my bases as I can, without getting too frazzled. As is the case with many of us.

So when I read the start of the e-mail just mentioned, while working on a library computer, my initial idea was to make an infuriated blog entry on it. I don’t usually do that. Though some of my blog entries seem to evince a lot of anger, they generally, per my long practice, are carefully tooled, with emotion rhetorically modulated as necessary. Even now I am doing this. For instance, you may not realize that I have held off the impulse to refer to the ACA or its “Team’s” item of business they sent me as “fucking shit.” Until now.

It’s news to me that I “did not complete [my] enrollment.” I don’t know what that means, in the context of reality. I signed up in December 2013, and tried to follow up in the winter, through early spring. Several phone calls I made to the state office of NJ FamilyCare, an entity handling the Medicaid-expansion side of the implementation of the ACA in the state, could not get me information on my account, though I could get a policy number. (I had to follow a mechanized system, with buttons pushed for options; I never spoke to an individual to get substantive info.) I gave up trying to call that office, figuring I would wait and see if that office, which had a horrendous backlog, would get to my policy in the fullness of time.

By the way, you can see my series tied to the ACA here, under the tag acronym “OFAD”:

An introductory note is included within here.






##

Given the lack of any response (via mail or otherwise) from NJ FamilyCare, I had actually been planning, for weeks, to look into my predicament with some footwork. I was going to go to an office in the county seat of Newton, N.J., of a nonprofit organization called NORWESCAP, which was handling ACA business last fall. I wanted to see there what I should do next. If I had to reapply for Medicaid (via the federal Web site), I could do that. Meanwhile, if I have to pay $95 on my federal taxes for tax year 2014, in winter 2015, because the Medicaid application had not been duly processed by the state in 2014, I am prepared to do that.

Part of the problem I suspected as to why my application didn’t go through (I had hypothesized this was at the NJ FamilyCare level) had to do with the amount of income I put in my application last December, which was a rough estimate. Actually, by about early September this year, I made only a little over the estimate. Through now, I am over even that level, but it is still well below the amount limit for an individual to qualify under the Medicaid expansion.

When in the midst of my difficult ongoing situation regarding income, and dealing with my mother’s health issue, it annoys me no small amount that I get some computer-generated horseshit from “The HealthCare.gov Team,” especially when for MONTHS I figured that all I needed to do was wait for the state to get its act together.

If the contention that I had to complete applying means that I should have responded to the postcard CRAP I got in the mail last spring, some marketing-like SHIT that I covered in this springtime installment, I believe this can’t be right, because (1) when I called the number and tried to go through the process by entering what little info I had, which was a policy number, the system wouldn’t proceed; it was as if I had the wrong account-related number. (2) Getting those particular marketing notices in the mail as a suspected key part of the ACA signup seemed cheesy at best, and a possible fraud at worst.

As I write on this SHIT, it makes me angry, so I’ll stop.

##

That was this morning. Now in the mid-afternoon, I am more collected about what to do, but I’ve been thinking I will keep careful records about further ACA business (as I already have), incidentally building a case, and I will be ready to defend myself lest I need to qualify for (as I recently heard you could apply for) an exemption from paying the ACA tax penalty in 2015, and/or presenting an argument to whomever it was relevant or necessary on why I believe the ACA process I was going through was erratic, if not fraudulent-seeming, through little or no fault of my own, hence I did not sign up for Medicaid (and hence I should get X relief…).

I even considered the droll possibility that this ACA situation constituted a case of tax fraud on the government’s part, in putting me through hoops that left me disserved partway through, predicated on which the government could then levy a tax penalty. That is, if in levying the ACA penalty, the government was saying in effect “You didn’t do what we wanted you to, hence…,” at which I could retort, “But I did do what I could, and your system turned out to be erratic shit.” That is, I might not have made a million attempts to iron out the problem (and why should I have?), but I had done all I could in applying, and it was the feds and/or the state that had dropped the balls. (But if a tax-fraud complaint should be filed, I can’t imagine I would do it, since that isn’t my area of specialty, even as a legal layperson who does some of his own legal work.)

(This all seems pretty ridiculous. I would never have expected to deal with this crap when graduating from college 30 years ago.)

Monday, October 20, 2014

Movie break: We catch Woody in a good mood: Midnight in Paris (2011)

Allen’s rhapsody about Paris and brief meditation on nostalgia

Second in a series: The Dawning of the Age of the ACA: Looking askance at pop and political culture of 2011–now

Also fits this series:
“We’ll always have Woody”: A look at Woody Allen films

Subsections below:
An unusual love story for Allen
Characters aplenty
Technical notes


This film’s storyline is pretty straightforward; the film as a whole is far simpler than either You Will Meet a Tall Dark Stranger (2010) before it or To Rome with Love (2012) after it. Amid other features, it is one of his travelogue films, made in Europe in the 2004-11 period, and its enchantment with Paris, a city as ripe for photographing as any, is shown in its different-for-Woody Allen initial-title sequence.

After a very few initial textual identifiers (in his white lettering on black screen), a long series (three minutes or so) of shots of different buildings, boulevards, and other vistas is unrolled, reminiscent of the beautiful shots of New York City (which set a standard for initial sequences) at the beginning of Manhattan (1979). Playing underneath is tasteful music (seeming like a French type of jazz, with saxes, oboes [?], and trumpets; and a simple repetitive-figures melody).

Then Allen’s usual white-lettering-on-black background title sequence continues, but now we hear only some initial dialogue underneath—by Owen Wilson’s Gil Pender and Rachel McAdams’ Inez, Gil’s fiancée—including Gil’s rather-plainspoken enthusing about Paris.


An unusual love story for Allen

Interestingly for Allen, this film doesn’t stray too far from that initial blast of “Paris love” in photos and talk; Allen romanticized the city over the many years, which is heard in stray remarks through many of his films, including the likes of Husbands and Wives (1992), all as if by a wistful New Yorker who never quite got the wherewithal together to go. Finally Allen did (though this happened as a function of his several-year involvement with European film-producing companies, the one here being Mediapro [End note], which was behind Vicky Cristina Barcelona [2008] and Tall Dark Stranger), and the result is a film that, unusual for Allen, is downright reverent in terms of honoring a city other than New York.

The story features some “magical realism” of the type that, in Allen’s work, may not have occurred since The Purple Rose of Cairo (1985). Here, what I think is employed is an example (conceptually from the sci fi genre) of the “time slip.”

And as a story, MIP is fairly slight. Dealing with this film lately along with the very interesting Blue Jasmine (2013) and a set of unusual distractions in my life, I am a little apt to dismiss MIP as a lightweight, almost annoyingly-thin summer entertainment. More objectively, MIP is like a short story stretched out into a 90-minute film, while Blue Jasmine is like a small-to-medium, serious novel stuffed into a 90-minute film. In MIP, even the story element—so common in Allen—of one romantic relationship breaking down and another taking its place seems surprisingly muted and morally “as it should be” for an Allen film.

But I don’t want to say MIP is a waste of time; it is a very tonally nice example of late Allen, when he crafts a fairly simple story that is long on pleasing impression (rather like Vicky Cristina Barcelona) and, while including literary allusions, short on cause for a lot of audience thinking. More to our benefit, as a result of Allen’s “finally being able to rhapsodize about Paris,” it is quite pleasant.


Characters aplenty

Michael Sheen, here sporting what seems an American accent, is on hand as Paul, an American pedant (in Paris on business too; he is to lecture at the Sorbonne); helping the MIP story, he is giving commentary for tours around Paris to Gil, Inez, and company. Inez and Paul eventually have a romantic relationship going that supplants Gil’s with Inez, and oddly for an Allen film, this change of relationships doesn’t come with much sound and fury, and it seems to suit both Inez and Gil, who himself then takes up with a pleasant French woman who works in a nostalgia shop.

Kurt Fuller plays Inez’s dad John, who is in Paris to consummate a business deal, as the ostensible reason Gil and Inez are also there. Fuller seems a good choice to play a hard-ass dad; he also played the hard-headed boss “Mr. Head” in Adam Sandler’s Anger Management (2003).

##

This film is a good work of Allen’s “for college students” (such as he occasionally did starting around Zelig [1983]), with a slew of famous names dropped that liberal arts majors can have fun picking out and identifying.

Among the famous names encountered here are writers F. Scott Fitzgerald and Ernest Hemingway (the film is worth seeing just for the parody of Hemingway; Corey Stoll plays him); painter and sculptor Pablo Picasso; composer Cole Porter; and others.

And consider other famous names and their assigned actors:

* Gertrude Stein is played by Kathy Bates, here well-cast as a sort of take-charge Earth mother-cum-cultural dean; if Stein here had the foul mouth of the mother Bates played in About Schmidt (2002), Bates would have provided a Gertrude Stein for our time;

* Adrien Brody is a sort of suitably weird Salvador Dali; and

* Alison Pill is the famously unstable Zelda Fitzgerald.

Marion Cotillard plays Adriana, a passion-driven woman (and cultural camp follower of sorts) who (at least per the film’s story) has affairs with several artistic names (from the 1920s, from whence she also comes), along with Gil.

The film seems almost weak in how it wraps up Gil’s odyssey, an odyssey in which he gets more entranced in visiting the famous figures from the 1920s, whether or not for feedback on his novel-in-progress. Adriana wants to, and gets to, go back (with Gil) to the 1890s, and it is in a visit to this decade where she and Gil have a philosophical discussion, heralding their “splitting up,” where she says that as a writer, he is all about words, while she is about passion. Gil for his part says that as a writer, he has to remove himself from illusions in his life as much as possible, and this means reducing nostalgia in his life. (This paraphrases.) This almost seems like Allen boiling down how he sees himself as a writer when he is being more clear-eyed realistic and less romantic.

Meanwhile, adding to Allen’s whimsical mix of fantasy and realism, it is a critique by Ernest Hemingway of Gil’s novel that sets Gil on the path to resolving something knotty in his own life. This is where Hemingway has detected that an affair has been going on between two characters in Gil’s novel, and Gil then infers that an affair has been going on between Inez and Paul, who are the source for Gil’s fictional characters. Amazingly, as a result of this, Gil and Inez seem to part ways, in the end, fairly amicably.


Technical notes

Darius Khondji, becoming one of Allen’s go-to production partners (working on four films for him in his post–Di Palma phase), handles cinematography.

An early scene (with Gil and Inez kissing) is set, I believe, at the famous pond from which Claude Monet got inspiration for his water-lily series of paintings. (My sister and her husband, on vacation, visited this location this just-past summer, and once home they showed plenty of photos from it.)

A fairly glaring script error (or an actor’s bad improvising?) is when Gil tells someone from the 1920s that he is “from the 2000th millennium,” which of course makes no sense. He is from an era within 2000+ years that have passed until now, in the “Common Era” (or anno Domini), but the millennium he is in is the second.

Allen also employs little comic tricks that, if in other directors’ films, would be considered rather unoriginal types of jokes as if influenced by the better films of Woody Allen. For example, Gil tells Hemingway that a case can be made that all American literature as descended from Mark Twain’s Huckleberry Finn. I guess Gil gave the Old Man a good idea for a literary pronouncement, because Hemingway, in real life, did say this.

Gil similarly seems to give another famous figure an idea for future work when he suggests a story idea to Luis Bunuel, a one-time associate of Salvador Dali’s who would much later make films. I don’t know any of the background in the real Bunuel’s career to know what film Gil is giving him a “clue” to doing.


End note.

For this film, fairly typical of Allen’s European deals, there is a mix of staff, nationality-wise. This film’s producing administration is Spanish (from Mediapro), but the production crew (the hands-on sorts) are French, to judge from the end credits.

Saturday, October 11, 2014

Movie break: A late-harvest work from Woody: To Rome with Love (2012), Part 2 of 2

(Part 1 was on You Will Meet a Tall Dark Stranger)

First in a series: The Dawning of the Age of the ACA: Looking askance at pop and political culture of 2011–now

Also fits this series:
“We’ll always have Woody”: A look at Woody Allen films

Subsections below:
A set of cross-cultural couples, with career comedy
A newlywed couple goes through comic shenanigans due to mistaken identity or coincidences
An average man suddenly becomes a media-hounded celebrity
A young man teams up temporarily with a mentor, while the young man is entranced by a dubious young woman

[Edit 12/20/14.]
 
At the end of Part 1, I made general comments about To Rome with Love that are useful for you to re-check here. (By the way, the film’s Wikipedia article’s characterization of the whole film as in the “magical realism” genre is not right; that applies to only one subplot, and there debatably, as we’ll see.)

To Rome has a number of braided subplots, somewhat similarly to You Will Meet a Tall Dark Stranger, but here the number of subplots is greater (and the characters from the different subplots here don’t interrelate between their groups, unlike in TDS). Also, the overall tone and style of unfolding the story here are more cartoon-like, for relatively broad laughs, and the pace is somewhat hectic. This apparently conforms with an aim of Allen’s to make this seem like a light sort of Italian love/average-person-caper movie. (In a supportive interview feature on the DVD—Con Amore: A Passion for Rome—it is pointed out that the Italian films Allen loves include an irony, which he apparently was trying to replicate here.)

The cinematography by Darius Khondji, who had worked with Allen a couple times before (in Anything Else [2003] and Midnight in Paris [2011]), seems to make the film look flat and colorful, as if it’s for fun and not so much an ambitiously artistic work.

Here are the subgroups of characters with their subplots and vignettes:


A set of cross-cultural couples, with career comedy

A young American woman, Hayley (Alison Pill, who played Zelda Fitzgerald in Midnight in Paris), during a summer vacation meets a young Italian lawyer on the street, Michelangelo (Flavio Parenti [there is no full Wikipedia bio on him]), and they become an item. The parents of both young people enter the plot: on her side, Jerry (Allen, in his first onscreen appearance since Scoop [2006]) and his wife Phyllis (Judy Davis, in her first work for Allen since Husbands and Wives [1992] and Deconstructing Harry [1997] [and Celebrity (1998); pardon my learning curve]—and this performance is her most low-key with him). They fly in to Italy, for a vacation (he is retired, but chafing at the prospect) and to meet their daughter’s boyfriend and his parents.

Michelangelo’s parents include Giancarlo (Fabio Armiliato, who is an actual singer, a tenor—which explains how, for an actor, if he’s not dubbed, he seems to sing awfully well). Giancarlo is an undertaker/funeral home director (which allows Allen to make some black-humor jokes, in line with his Jerry’s showing a passing, unoffending “ugly American” side). Michelangelo’s mother has a fairly inconspicuous role, and I can’t find the actress’s name in the film’s Wikipedia article. It turns out that Giancarlo is a fine opera singer in the shower. Meanwhile, Allen’s Jerry is retired from being a classical music producer for a record company, as well as having staged operas (though with weirdly avant-garde touches like having characters in one famed opera all dressed as “little white mice”). Jerry wants to see if Giancarlo can get an audition for performances and maybe a record contract.

This leads to some wacky comedy regarding how this has to happen (because Giancarlo best sings only under certain conditions). In the process, Allen and Davis make a sort of broad-comedy couple where she, deadpan, skewers his passing pretensions somewhat on the order of Jackie Gleason’s comedy (such as, when Gleason’s Ralph Kramden says, “Alice, this is the biggest thing I ever got into!,” Alice retorts, “The biggest thing you ever got into was your pants!”). With Allen’s one-liners, this is one of the most effective comedy threads in the film.

Allen, amazingly, doesn’t disappoint, though he does seem elderly. Here, he almost always has control of his voice, unlike in Hollywood Ending (2002), Anything Else (2003), or Scoop. For one thing, he seems personally acclimatized to seeming (and being) old. In other films, he likes to refer to Nietzsche once in a while; well, did you know Nietzsche wrote something like, “Die at the right time” (according to a professor I had)? Either Nietzsche, or Shakespeare in his “ages of man” mode, could also have said, “Every man eventually, if he gets that old, starts to dress like an old man.” This most reliably means that he has his pants up a little high, as if his waist rose about four inches.

Allen is no exception to this. And Allen typically favors pleated-front pants, and he was always slight of build: so if his torso was a bit small when he was younger, it certainly looks small now. This all conduces to him seeming like he’s among the many aged who are on a schedule for pill-taking and need to be not far from a lavatory at all times. His hair in this film seems to mix greyish-white with what has remained of whatever red he had. His eyes are as dark as unburned charcoals, and peer out from an otherwise sallow-ish, somewhat low-jawed face. (He always had a face with somewhat long cheeks and a squared jaw; now, with age, this makes him look more horse-faced than ever, which is compensated for a bit when his eyes and talk convey a sparkle of fun.)

But even with a little deliberateness to his starting to talk sometimes, he still manages to spin out surprising one-liners that are among the funniest lines in the movie.


A newlywed couple goes through comic shenanigans due to mistaken identity or coincidences

This film features a lot more Italian dialogue in proportion to English than does Vicky Cristina Barcelona (2008) regarding the Spanish, so it seems a large part of Allen’s deal in getting financing for To Rome was having it appear in, along with English-language markets, an Italian market (with, as was likely with VCB, the subtitle-situation reversed for the different markets; so with To Rome, for Italians the English subtitles with the Italian talk are cut, and added are Italian subtitles for the English talk). The Italian speaking in this film seems rather voluminous (sometimes) for some of the English translations (though it isn’t like Godzilla films, with the seeming ratio of 60 Japanese syllables to five English syllables). How Allen presented his Italian actors scripts isn’t clear, but his sister Letty Aronson on the Con Amore extra says that though Allen doesn’t know Italian, he knew during filming when an Italian scene was right, and he turned out to be right when Italian viewers loved the scenes.

The newlywed couple’s story is somewhat more low-key comedy than Allen has going on in the English-language parts, but it is charming enough (and according to the Wikipedia article on To Rome, it is based on Fellini’s The White Sheik [1952]). A young man, Antonio (Alessandro Tiberi [no Wikipedia bio available]), and a young woman, Milly (Alessandra Mastronardi), have just gotten married, and they are in an apparent honeymoon hotel suite. Milly goes out on some excursion, and as Antonio waits in his room, a call girl, Anna (Penélope Cruz), shows up, thinking he is someone else she has been appointed to service (by some others; possibly it’s a business matter).

Antonio first tries to assure her of her mistake; then, wildly, some relatives of his charge in, apparently expecting to meet the newlywed couple there. Thinking fast, Antonio and Anna pretend they are the newlyweds; Anna even remonstrates with the newly arrived people for barging in, etc. The older people leave. Then Antonio anguishes: what does he do now? He and his wife are invited to dine with the older people, and he must pretend Anna is his wife for the time being.

Meanwhile, Milly, the real young wife, loses her cell phone in trying to call Antonio, then ends up in a random situation on the street where she meets a movie crew, with actors, doing some filming. She is star-struck, and eventually gets into a situation where she is trying to date one of the actors, Luchino Salta (Antonio Albanese). This occurs in parallel to Antonio’s carrying on the charade with Anna, including his finding Milly with Luchino Salta at the same restaurant (while Milly doesn’t know Antonio, with Anna, is there).

Antonio and Milly’s farcical situation plays out so that the couple eventually gets back together, in one of the most “happy endings” to any of the comic odysseys/subplots within this film.


An average man suddenly becomes a media-hounded celebrity

Perhaps what could be called the “most expendable piece of cheap cheese to this sandwich” of a multi-plot film is the subplot where Leopoldo Pisanello (Roberto Benigni), an office worker, suddenly becomes followed by the media as if he is a major star, completely out of the blue. Leonard Maltin’s compendium refers to this as if it were a bit of magical realism, such as Allen tried with Midnight in Paris; and this isn’t an implausible interpretation, but I think that for a better explanation in line with Allen’s longer-range aims, we need to see how this subplot echoes Allen’s Celebrity (1998), which I haven’t opted to see.

In any event, I find this subplot a bit tired—it’s amusing in places, but rather like filler. Benigni (who starred in Life Is Beautiful [1997], to acclaim, though the film was controversial) makes a game effort at enlivening his character here. Leopoldo first becomes beleaguered by being treated by a star, then goes along with it to an extent, then when it ends as inexplicably as it began, he starts to miss it. This is also an Italian-language subplot.


A young man teams up temporarily with a mentor, while the young man is entranced by a dubious young woman

In the John/Jack/Monica subplot, Allen is repeating something of the plot of Anything Else, and this subplot would be the one that young filmgoers—especially the Allen haters—might most object to. This is actually the subplot with the most American-type humor next to the singing-undertaker subplot featuring Allen, and it, in general, exemplifies the kind of doctrinaire, barbed satire of morés of the young that Allen has carved out for himself as an option for his films since the 1990s. If it seems to embody a kind of prepackaged cynicism, it still ends up pretty entertaining for its jokes (appreciated with suspension of offense at the arguable cynicism); and it seems to carry the inevitable charm that does the longer tradition (back to about 1977) of Allen’s stories of “the young and in love in the city, where they are all about their aims for the future and at a pass in life where they are most apt to be sold down the river.”

Added to this situation is Alec Baldwin, as an architect (John [Voigt?]) visiting the city, almost literally bumping into a young architecture student, Jack, played by Jesse Eisenberg. Baldwin’s John has parted from his peer-age company to go seek out his old haunts when he lived in Rome 30 years before, in his youth. Jack invites him to walk along—he’ll show him where X street is—and then invites him into his flat for coffee.

There is Jack’s fiancée Sally (Greta Gerwig), and as it happens, they are going to pick up Monica (Ellen Page) at the airport. Monica is a film actress, who is currently out of work and has just broken up with her boyfriend. Sally assures Jack that Monica is fun—“Wait till you meet her,” that sort of thing. Baldwin’s John smells a rat; then he becomes a sort of slyly commenting mentor, speaking to Jack at turns in the conversations (through the rest of the subplot) almost as if Jack is the only one who can hear him.

Throughout, John comments with deliciously subversive humor at what a shaky proposition for Jack Monica will be, and later is. At first, Jack assures John that he will not be won over by Monica’s charms, etc. (this is almost a “meta” exercise of two people wanting, from their different angles, to evade the quicksand of a typical Woody Allen dangerous-romance plot). But then, slowly but steadily, Monica wins Jack over, not least with her talk about her colorful sexual history (a monologue Page does on this is fascinating), her issuing cultural allusions at a café table, her rhapsodizing about points of her interest in whatever they see around the city, etc.

Baldwin’s John, apparently in reaction to his own illusions-banishing experience as a youth, reads Monica as the sort of pretentious con artist that binds a guy like Jack as if Jack can only see her as a winning delight, leading him sadly to shuck aside Sally in the process, while dangers to him lie ahead.

There are a lot of parallels here—in the old skeptic trying to warn a young man away from a dubious young woman—to what we have seen in Anything Else. But what adds to the humor here is that Baldwin utters his comments—amid a full array of whoever else being present, including the woman he’s talking about—with the sort of self-consciously sardonic attitude he shows in the Capital One TV commercials he used to be in, and this actually works to deliver the humor. But you sometimes wonder what the young woman or women who are also present in the scene think of him and his continual crusade to puncture illusions. At one point Monica seems to break through the artistic artifice to say to John with a mild attempt at being withering, “You don’t understand women,” and Baldwin responds without missing a beat, “That’s been proven.” An anticlimactic step, but underscoring Allen’s firmly tooled satire.

In Con Amore, which has an interview with not only Allen’s sister Letty Aronson but also Baldwin, Baldwin says that Allen let him improvise some of his lines, as seemed suitable within the scene. This may have been what makes Baldwin seem like such a version of his conspicuously ironic self here.

The whole Jack/Monica subplot seems to unfold pretty well; and how it ends (quite helpful to Jack’s and Sally’s relationship) is very amusing, with Monica (as she’s told in a phone call) getting a movie contract for work on just the kind of dopey-audience, high-budget Hollywood film that Allen has been comfortably eschewing for 40+ years; with Monica’s turn of fortune, Allen gets to skewer both commercial Hollywood and his conception of a flake kind of female. In reporting to Jack on the phone call, Monica mentions, perfectly oblivious to the morality, that she is comfortable with the roué director of the prospective film, in terms of doing required nude scenes for him; and she also loves his druggie personality style. Baldwin’s John watches her rhapsodizing with his face vivid with “like I thought!” skepticism.

This subplot also involves evocative Italian locations, but viewers might find that it, of all the subplots here, is the most cynical train of writing in a film that otherwise seems as if meant for simple fun time-killing. For a variety of viewers, satire can best appeal depending on its targets (for those who are more appealed to by specific content), or (for those who like any satire) if the general craft of its humor is good. Even if we tolerate its selection of targets (that is, if we “bracket out” that its targeting may be unfair), it can still be like good Scotch or Led Zeppelin—it can be the best of its kind there is, but you don’t always have a taste (or the mood) for it.

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Visually, this is very much one of Allen’s European “travelogue” films, where you feel you are on a mini-vacation with the photography of must-see sights, as with Midnight in Paris or Vicky Cristina Barcelona.

Adding to the mishmash quality of To Rome, Allen even has a narrator do some work, but he only appears at the very beginning and the very end. He is played—as a traffic cop—by a real traffic cop in Rome, Pierluigi Marchionne.