Making a tough lot bearable

I have a few ideas of what to do about “Pedals,” the bear spotted in New Jersey (in 2014 and, apparently, this year) walking on his hind legs (see here or Google “pedals the bear nj”). To fit in here, it’s not hard: give him a shirt and pants, and teach him to be able to buy beer, cigarettes, and lottery tickets. Teach him to say apologetically, “I haven’t shaved today,” to deflect puzzlement in some at his hairy face. Teach him to order a hamburger now and then at a McD’s…and maybe teach him to vote Republican. Overall, he then might not make much of an impression in New Jersey. (And he might be nicer to get along with than some usual-bipeds.)

(Call me callous? I’ve seen injured bears before, and been sorry for them. Once, not far from my home, a big bear lumbered across the street steadily holding up one front leg, as if it couldn’t step on it; it ambled along on three of its legs. Another time, several years ago, in Rockaway, N.J. [on Green Pond Road], I saw a big bear hit by a big SUV and shoved to the side of the road. The bear ended up on its rump and let out a moan of sorts—I can’t fully recall the sound [my window was closed], but I remember thinking it didn’t sound the way you’d think a bear would sound. It wasn’t like the crazy-Hollywood version of something roaring like you might see on TV. Anyway, I found later that bear was not dead on the side of the road, so presumably it got itself together and moved on.)

[Added 11/13/15: My point, of course, was that Nature finds a way to take care of her own, even if sometimes it may seem a bit cruel. My question for Pedals, though: considering that all bears put on the pounds as they go along in life, will this one be able to support a bigger body on just his hind legs? Will he be able to walk around equally well as time goes on?]